She Let Go
by HOTTERTHNU
Summary: Summer's mom was dealing with more than anyone knew. This why she left, and what she left behind
1. What They Didn't Know

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She Let Go

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Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or any characters. Just the random thoughts distracting me from homework.

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Summary: Elina Roberts was dealing with more than anyone knew. This is why she left, and what she left behind.

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A/N: This idea came to me at school today during Eng. Lit. So I wrote down the idea and here it is! In case you can't tell, Elina Roberts is Summer's mother. I haven't seen many fics from her point of view. So I had to make one myself. There will be more than one chapter to this. And more than one idea explored (other than the one evident in this chapter). Summer's and Neil's POV's will be explored in later chapters.

She was daddy's little princess.

Even while they were married, Elina Roberts knew. 

Her daughter was Neil Robert's favorite.

Shopping sprees. Friday afternoon trips to Los Angeles. 

All the while Elina was sitting at home. 

Missing her husband.

Envying her daughter.

Hating herself.

They looked like the perfect family to others. 

A rich, devoted husband, beautiful, young wife, and sweet, precocious daughter.

That was on the exterior.

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Others didn't know what went on behind closed doors.

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Others didn't know how Elina felt in her heart. _Suffocated, unwanted, hopeless._

Others didn't know Neil's schedule. _Work, play with daughter, sleep._

Workaholic that he was, Neil always made time to play with her, before or after dinner, any day of the week. 

A quick kiss to Elina, then it was off for some quality father-daughter time.

Whatever happened to quality husband-wife time?

She happened.

It was partly Elina's fault. She'd wanted to get pregnant so early on.

She'd settled down already, now all that was missing was the "start a family" part.

If only it was that easy.

Neil spoiled her. 

All of his time and attention went to her.

She was daddy's little princess.

But Summer wasn't daddy's.


	2. Good Enough

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She Let Go

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or any characters. Just the random thoughts distracting me from homework.

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Summary: Elina Roberts was dealing with more than anyone knew. This is why she left, and what she left behind.

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A/N: Stupid website wasn't working yesterday, and I couldn't access the first chapter of this story. Meaning I couldn't write the second chapter…since I was on a different computer than the one I wrote the first chapter on. Okay, enough of that. Also, I'm going to do this in a pattern: Elina, Summer, Neil…and so on. Their thoughts. There may be back to back POV's though, like Elina, Elina, Summer, Neil, Neil, etc. Got it?…Read and review…

He said we looked completely alike.

It wasn't my fault though, he added.

And besides, I was better.

Prettier, more perfect.

When we both knew this was a lie.

A big, fat lie.

If I was exactly like her, how was I different?

How, Daddy?

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You didn't betray me, sweetie. You love me, and I love you. No matter what.

Do I? Do you?

Do I know any different?

All I have is his word. 

I don't know why she left.

But it was obviously because of me.

I'm not perfect, I wasn't pretty enough.

Or smart enough. Or sweet enough.

She used to tell me that.

Did you know that, Daddy?

She used to tell me that I wasn't good enough.

She didn't know it.

I was there when she left.

Leaving only her lingering scent behind.

She didn't know it.

But I was there.

Why couldn't she say goodbye, Daddy?

What did I do?

I'm sorry, I tried.

I wasn't good enough for her.


	3. Couldn't Give Her Everything She Wanted ...

**She Let Go**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or any of the characters.

**Summary: **Elina Roberts was dealing with more than anyone knew. This is why she left, and what she left behind.

**A/N: **So I haven't updated in a _really, really_ long time! Sorry about that. I've been so busy with school and activities…you know how it gets. I'm going to try and update all my stuff at least once this weekend. And I should be posting one or two one parters…or longer ones.

She got up and left in the middle of the night.

There were no goodbyes.

No I-love-you's.

No I'll-be-back-soon's.

She left him an innocent daughter and a tear-splotched note.

Maybe he should have paid more attention.

Maybe Summer didn't need _that_ much father-daughter time.

Did he really even know his wife?

Neil didn't know…

He didn't know how to raise a girl.

He didn't know how to explain to Summer why her mother up and left.

He didn't know how to keep on looking at that face, the one that mirrored her mothers.

It hurt too much.

Retreating into a shell, he didn't let anyone in. Not Summer, not that do-gooder attorney Cohen.

_Work, work, work._

Late nights he came home, seeing those vacant brown eyes. Innocently searching for answers, for love, for anything.

Summer wanted…no, she needed everything he couldn't give her. 

Like father, like daughter, she retreated into her own shell. 

Neil didn't know his daughter—the daughter he'd risked his marriage for—anymore.

She thought he never read her diary.

So he was a sneaky bastard. 

How else would he get to know his daughter?

Dear Diary, why doesn't Daddy love me? I wasn't good enough for mommy, but I thought he loved me. I'm all alone in this world and I don't know what to do. I'd rather be poor and have a daddy who loves me than be rich and abandoned.

And he _still_ chose to ignore the pleas for attention.

Neil Roberts could give his daughter almost anything she wanted.

Credit cards, shopping sprees, expensive cars. 

What she wanted most were answers.

The one thing he couldn't give her.

What was he supposed to say?

Your mother left because she was jealous of you. 

_Because I loved you more than I loved her._

_I love you, but you remind me of your mother. That's why I can't be with you as much as I want to._

No, that wouldn't do.

Some things were better left unsaid.


End file.
